Tracey's Reflections from MTI

I've been procrastinating this entry, and I'm not sure why. I think it has to do with the fact that there is so much I could say about MTI, and I'm not sure how to condense the experience properly. Here goes an attempt!

I will say first of all that MTI was wonderful, and actually much reflection is still to come as the things we were taught prove true later on once we're IN Costa Rica.

The thing I appreciate the most about MTI is that it was not a pep rally for missions. Our teachers told us their true stories, shared the hard realities of living overseas away from the familiar, and explored a long list of areas of potential (probable) conflict and stress. You might think that this approach could be depressing, or at least de-motivating, but it was actually quite refreshing! Jeff and I have traveled enough, worked cross-culturally and in ministry enough, to have seen some really ugly things. I suppose they aren't things that should surprise anyone too much, except that we naively used to think so-called "Christ-followers" held themselves to a different way of thinking, to standards slightly higher than people who do not claim such allegiances. We have, I think, come to grips with the human condition enough to be on guard for some of the pitfalls, and also to extend grace much more readily. All the same, it was healing balm to hear that it will be hard, and it will be normal if it is hard. And especially if the difficulties involve relationships with other Christians.

Lifestyle choices. What does this cover? What doesn't it cover? This was insightful for me. Before I became a mother, I would have had no second thoughts about going and living in the middle of a slum, or some "dangerous" place. I would have forsaken all for the the sake of seeing people's lives transformed into the image of Christ. I would have identified with the poor by becoming poor; I would have "gone native" as they say. Now the issues are more complicated. Now I am responsible for 2 young children. I am to see that they eat, sleep, learn, play, and thrive in life. I believe that I am giving my kids a GIFT by letting them grow up somewhere different than home. I believe that the experiences they have in Costa Rica, learning another language, adjusting to another culture, will make them richer humans. But I know it might not always be easy for them. And I know that the 'lifestyle' choices we make as a family because of our kids will be different than if they were not around. Unless God directs otherwise at some point, we will probably live like middle class Ticos. We don't plan to live completely sheltered, but we will probably have a car, a blender, and US linens. We will live a simpler life , but for the sake of longevity, (and our kids) not a deprived life. And much guilt was relieved in hearing that this is all right.

Paradoxes. In the kids program at MTI they show the children two rubber ducks. One is clean and pretty, the other is dirty. A 'yeah' duck and a 'yuck' duck. A 'pair-a-ducks.' Two things that are opposite, but true, at the same time. :) I think of this in terms of my feelings about moving to Costa Rica. On one hand, I have feelings of nervousness, things I'm not sure about, fears. And on the other hand, I am so deeply excited that the day is finally approaching. I am sad--really sad--to be leaving our Visalia home, our friends, our support. But I look forward to new friendships, ways that old ones will be strengthened, and ALL that God is and will be doing in our lives. So, it's not simple. But it's all true. And it's a paradox. There will be lots of those.

I could say so much more, but I will wait and say it later. This at least gives a taste of some things I've been thinking about. :)